


HKA

by 2x2verse (agent_florida)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Kismesis, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-08
Updated: 2011-11-08
Packaged: 2017-10-25 20:12:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/274300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agent_florida/pseuds/2x2verse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hot kismesis action. No, really, that's all this is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	HKA

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:01 --

CG: FUCKASS, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PRETTY.   
TG: what the fuck  
TG: im not pretty  
TG: karkles if youre gonna be like this im gonna leave   
CG: YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE.   
TG: says who   
CG: SAYS YOUR LEADER, THAT’S WHO.

Dave hadn’t been looking forward to meeting with the trolls anyways, but this was just awkward. Karkat was being rude over some stupid MS Paint diagram, even to the point of hissing at Rose and Kanaya when they dared to leave the lab together. Jade had already made herself at home at Gamzee’s terminal, sitting in his chair and letting his head rest between her legs as she attacked him with a hairbrush; every so often, Gamzee would let out a pleased grunt, but otherwise, he looked too stoned to function. And John? John was just nerding out with Sollux, showing him an ancient Gameboy Color while Terezi flitted around the two of them snickering words like ‘blueberries’ and ‘candyfloss’.

Which left Dave staring at Karkat and Karkat staring right back. Dave wanted to be anywhere but pinned under those yellow eyes, anything but wanting to scratch off Karkat’s leer. And from the looks of things, Karkat was just as pissy.

CG: ...  
CG: WELL  
CG: THE CHART'S FUCKED UP ANYWAY.  
CG: STILL WANT TO LEAVE?   
TG: do you seriously think i want to be here  
TG: id rather be disemboweled by a water buffalo   
CG: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

Instead of asking Dave for permission, he gripped him around the wrist, hard, and yanked like he wanted to dislocate his shoulder. Dave had no choice but to follow, tripping rather un-coolkid-like over his Chucks before Karkat managed to drag him out of the room. Once they were in the cramped hallway leading back to the recuperation quarters, though, Karkat fastened his hand around Dave’s throat and forced him back against the wall.

CG: WHAT KIND OF A RETARDED PINK APEBEAST  
CG: BROADCASTS THEIR FUCKED-UP MUTANT BLOOD COLOR LIKE THAT?  


Dave blinked behind his shades. What the hell was he talking about? He couldn’t exactly talk with that pressure up against his larynx, but it didn’t seem to matter: Karkat was determined to monologue to him, apparently, because he only pressed closer as he continued to speak.

CG: YOU'VE TYPED IN RED SINCE DAY ONE.  
CG: IT’S AMAZING YOU WEREN'T CULLED BY YOUR ADULT HUMAN LUSUS.   
TG: its just a font choice jegus christ   
CG: SHUT UP AND LISTEN, STRIDERKIND.

Karkat’s forearm was pressed against his chest now, nails threatening to break the skin under his jaw. Dave tried to struggle, but this troll was strong. He was shorter, smaller, scrawnier, and yet Dave couldn’t get any leverage on him. Maybe the humans did look like pathetic little creatures to this race. Just in case Dave was thinking of going anywhere, though, Karkat leaned against him harder, getting a knee between his legs and yanking at his hair to get his mouth closer to Dave’s ear.

CG: DO YOU REALLY BLEED YOUR COLORS?   
TG: no you dumbass we all bleed the same   
CG: SHOW ME.

The hand scraped down his neck, and Dave winced as Karkat’s nails opened a series of gashes on his throat. Karkat’s eyes, as they stared up at him, were feral in their intensity, and his pointed teeth were revealed in an animalistic snarl. The raw sting of the cuts was hot under his skin, but what was even more disturbing was the way Karkat was watching him bleed. And as if that wasn’t weird enough, he leaned in to lick the blood creeping down his hand.

CG: FUCK  
CG: YOU'RE ALL FREAKS THEN.  
CG: LOOK AT THIS  
CG: IT'S BRIGHT RED  
CG: I DON'T UNDERSTAND  
CG: IT LOOKS BLUE INSIDE YOU.

His other hand, still around Dave’s wrist, brought his arm up and slammed it into the wall. Dave darted his eyes over – yes, his veins were standing out prominently, traces of light blue under his albino skin. It was frustrating, not being able to explain, snark, goad him into doing something stupid. Even more frustrating was the familiar tightening feeling in his gut. With his hips pressed up into Karkat like that, the troll had to be able to feel what this contact was doing to him.

  
CG: I WANT TO SEE IT LIKE THAT.

Dave choked down a moan.

CG: I WANT TO FEEL IT FROM THE INSIDE.

Dave failed to choke down a moan.

CG: AND YOU WANT IT TOO.

For emphasis, he moved his hips against Dave’s body. Thank christ for the shades, because Dave’s eyes rolled back in his skull; the giveaway was his fingers curling in on themselves. He wished he had the strength to push Karkat away, if only so he could get some more control over the situation. When he bucked, Karkat only laughed, loosening the grip he’d had on Dave’s throat.

TG: let me go you bastard   
CG: TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, NOOKLICKING TAINTMUNCHER.   
TG: i want you to get the fuck off me cuntsmear   
CG: STOP LYING TO ME, YOU WASTE OF PERFECTLY USABLE AIR.  
CG: TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.   
TG: fuckwit what do you think i want

Karkat stared at him for a second, as if sizing up a meal. Then, with no warning, he pulled Dave away from the wall, wheeled him around, and shoved him right back into it, breaking his glasses when he smashed his face into the side of the steel corridor.

TG: those were perfectly good shades douchefunnel   
CG: DO YOU WANT ME TO BREAK SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD?

Karkat didn’t weigh much, but what he lacked in size, he more than made up for in strength. All the air was forced out of Dave’s chest as Karkat continued to harass him, pushing up his shirt in a way that left no room for doubt as to what was about to happen. A thousand tiny cuts opened as Karkat stripped him, and Dave was fairly certain he was delirious, because the pain actually felt good.

CG: LOOK AT YOU  
CG: ALREADY FLUSHED FOR THIS  
CG: SWEET TROLL JESUS I LOATHE YOU.   
TG: already huh  
TG: i do try   
CG: SHUT UP!  
CG: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

Karkat stripped Dave of his shirt while he continued to berate him, and goosebumps pricked over his newly-bare skin. It was cold out here. He found himself, in an absurd way, thankful for Karkat’s body heat, for the searing flare of each connection between their bodies. He didn’t like being trapped, though, and he used the window of opportunity Karkat left him to push back from the wall; lean muscles from sword-wielding rippled under the skin of his arm when he did his graceful standing push-up, and he flash-stepped under the arm Karkat brought up in an attempt to pin him again.

CG: GET BACK HERE, STRIDERKIND  
CG: I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET.   
TG: make me vantas  
TG: make  
TG: me   
CG: DON'T MAKE ME MAKE YOU.   
TG: id like to see you try

A bad choice of words, because yes, as they sparred back in forth in that little hallway, it was becoming more and more apparent to Dave how much of a disadvantage he was at here. Neither of them had their specibus on them, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t strife, and the physical battle between them only got more and more violent. Dave took both of Karkat’s wrists in hand and tried to use his height to his advantage, but Karkat was just tougher, biting his neck to break the skin before kneeing him in the stomach to send him even further down the hallway.

Dave got a fist into Karkat’s shirt before the blow, and so when Karkat hit him, Dave pulled him down. The momentum meant Karkat landed over him as they sprawled out on the floor, but Dave couldn’t let him have the upper hand. Not now, when it was so crucial. He rolled onto his side, forcing Karkat onto his back, and he had to fight to keep the troll subdued, sitting on his waist and gripping his wrists tightly.

TG: now are you going to play nice  
TG: or do you need a lesson in manners   
CG: FUCK YOU, BULGEREEK  
CG: YOU DON'T DESERVE MY MANNERS.

Before Dave could even ask what that meant, Karkat leaned up and smashed their mouths together. It would have been unfair to call it a kiss, what with the troll’s razor-sharp fangs shredding soft human lips until the blood lubricated the slide of their tongues against one another. It completely disarmed Dave: his stomach clenched against itself hard, and a flare of heat seared from the bottom of his skull to the base of his spine, leaving behind a blaze in his gut that only got more intense with the more Karkat kept contact.

In Dave’s moment of weakness, Karkat flipped them back over so he was the one keeping Dave down on the floor. Dave was fast enough to attempt to block Karkat’s hands, but he wasn’t strong enough to pry away his fingers once they hooked in the belt loops of his black jeans; Karkat dragged him along the floor of the hallway like a prize he had won, further abusing Dave’s back on the cold metal of the floor.

TG: the fuck are you doing   
CG: TAKING THIS SOMEWHERE MORE APPROPRIATE.

Dave was thrown onto a pile of something soft – oh, lord of fuck, that was a pile of Pyrope’s dragon plushes. He made a move for the door, but Karkat’s silhouette blocked the way, and the door slammed behind him soon enough. Then Karkat was on top of him again, continuing that mouth mauling he’d started, and Dave shivered at the thick, salty taste of blood on his tongue. When Karkat pulled back, he sneered down at him, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

CG: PATHETIC.  
CG: YOU HUMANS ARE SO WEAK.  
CG: YOU CAN'T EVEN FIGHT BACK.  
CG: AND YOUR BLOOD  
CG: YOUR DIRTY, FILTHY BLOOD  
CG: I HAVE NOTHING BUT THE BLACKEST OF HATE FOR YOU, STRIDERKIND.

The rasp in Karkat’s voice was only getting more insistent now as he pressed against Dave in the pile. At the crook of his legs was something that bumped up against the hard-on still trapped in Dave’s jeans, and he rutted up against it, thankful for the small bit of contact. Karkat didn’t deny him, just rolled his hips downwards, and Dave hissed at the feel of it. Now it was his turn to strip Karkat.

Weird. They looked so like humans superficially that it was easy for Dave to forget that this was a fucking creepy alien race. There was nothing but a smooth plane of muscle under his shirt, not knotted in nice neat squares like his own chest and stomach but instead laying in columns of thick rope from shoulder to pelvis. No nipples, no navel, just an expanse of gray skin that Dave now had the urge to maul just so he could see some color against it.

He raised his hand in a claw and raked it against Karkat’s chest. Nothing. He’d been hoping for at least a superficial scratch to show up under his nails, but much like the rest of him, Karkat’s skin was just more resilient. The troll just laughed at him, his sinister smile showing rows of pointed teeth.

CG: HOPING FOR SOME RETALIATION?   
TG: i cant stand you   
CG: WHAT WAS THAT?  
CG: IT SOUNDED LIKE A BLACKROM FORMING.   
TG: fuck you vantas  
TG: fuck you and your dumbass quadrants  
TG: fuck you and your fucking troll bullshit  
TG: fuck all of it

And yet he wasn’t truly struggling under the slight weight of Karkat pinning him down, and in fact lifted his hips as those strong hands moved to the fly of his jeans, ripping apart his button and destroying the zipper. Was he really that impatient to get Dave out of his clothes? Oh, but this was one place where Dave could get him back: he worked on Karkat’s pants, too, carefully undoing the row of four buttons with one hand while the troll was preoccupied.

Shoes were kicked off, socks peeled away, pants wriggled out of. And then the two of them were back to square one, staring at each other with narrowed eyes.

CG: THE FUCK IS THAT?   
TG: the fuck is this

Karkat was wearing what was probably boxers, but where on a normal guy there would have been a bulge, something was writhing under that fabric. And it was scaring the shit out of Dave. Dicks did not move like that. Of course, he shouldn’t have been this surprised at this shocking development – Karkat had seemed different from the moment they started stripping – but he didn’t think it would be that weird.

Karkat was gaping at him in the same way, watching his crotch like he was convinced it was about to gain sentience. But no, it was just a normal boner. Dave could waggle it a little bit if he really concentrated, but not when Karkat was glaring at him like that. He was just glad it hadn’t wilted entirely from the pressure.

TG: ill show you mine if you show me yours   
CG: I ABHOR YOU.

Once again the two of them were stuck in a game of chicken, but it was Karkat who averted his eyes first. What was the vocabulary for those troll parts? Oh, right, a bone bulge. It didn’t look very bony or bulgy, though; it was more like an animal was trapped in his shorts and scurrying to get free. A ruddy flush was spreading on Karkat’s shoulders, delicately tinting his skin, and Dave even caught Karkat rolling his eyes as he pulled off that last article of clothing.

Dear jesus dick what was that.

It looked like an octopus had attached itself to the front of Karkat’s crotch. A strangely amputated octopus at that, because even as they were flailing all over the place, Dave counted only seven tentacles, six smaller ones circling around what was obviously supposed to be the boner-tentacle. It was all protruding out of some kind of slit – oh. That must have been the bulge they were talking about, and the tentacles must have crawled out once he was ready to mate.

Oh, joy. This was going to be fun to maneuver.

CG: LIKE WHAT YOU SEE, STRIDERKIND?   
TG: i dont  
TG: i cant  
TG: fuck  
TG: what even is that   
CG: YOU ACT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN A BONE BULGE BEFORE.  
CG: ...  
CG: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A BONE BULGE BEFORE.  
CG: TIME FOR SOME EDUCATING, FUCKASS.

Karkat grabbed Dave’s hand by the wrist, and Dave watched, helpless and wide-eyed, as Karkat tried to guide it towards the mass of tentacles. Every time he tried to yank it away, Karkat glared at him harshly and tried to dislocate his shoulder, or at least that’s what it felt like.

CG: ARE YOU A CLUCKBEAST?   
TG: what  
TG: no   
CG: THEN TOUCH ME  
CG: IT'S NOT A HARD CONCEPT  
CG: EVEN FOR THE EXTREMELY MORONIC.

If there was one thing Dave Strider could not abide, it was being called a coward. Defiantly he threw off Karkat’s grip on his arm and reached in to grasp that one large tentacle. It was coated in some kind of translucent red goo, and even as he tried to tighten his fist around it it seemed to slip away. Judging by Karkat’s reaction, though, this was the right thing to do, and so Dave kept reaching in and capturing it every time it wriggled away.

When the other tentacles decided they wanted in on the action, Dave spread his hand, taking them in the spaces between his fingers and keeping the largest one between finger and thumb. It was like a weird mix between a handjob and just plain holding hands, and the oddity of it only intensified when the remaining tentacles circled around his wrist and forced his hand into a rhythm. Karkat only bit his lip harder when Dave twisted his wrist that slight bit, and he actually started purring, a rumble deep in his chest, as Dave twirled the tentacles around and through his fingers.

He lifted his hips eagerly when Karkat’s thumbs hooked under the waistband of his boxers, and soon Karkat’s nails were scraping down his thighs as he stripped him. Dave watched his face carefully for his reaction – this must have been his expression when Karkat dropped trou.

TG: whats the matter  
TG: never seen a pork sword before   
CG: WHAT   
TG: beef bazooka  
TG: yogurt flinger  
TG: jizz cannon  
TG: flesh python  
TG: spam porpoise  
TG: baby batter blaster  
TG: purple headed womb ferret   
CG: WHAT THE FUCK?   
TG: thats my bulge fucknuts   
CG: THERE'S ONLY ONE OF THEM.  
CG: IT DOESN'T EVEN MOVE.   
TG: lies and calumny  
TG: you wound its pride

Dave waggled it for emphasis, and it bobbed obscenely between the two of them; a clear bead of pre was smearing over the slit already. When Karkat didn’t immediately reach out and manhandle him, Dave raised an eyebrow in a suitably ironic manner.

TG: youre such a hypocrite  
TG: wont even touch me  
TG: maybe its you whos the chickenshit vantas   
CG: SHUT YOUR FACEGASH.

At the mere mention, Karkat snarled at him, a deep animalistic sound that had him curling back his lips and showing every one of his dangerously fanged teeth. At first his grip was too harsh, the friction too much, and Dave sucked in a breath through his teeth, hissing as he withdrew his hand from Karkat’s bulge. The tentacles followed his fingers, but he managed to pull away enough to get what was probably troll precum smeared along his dick, lubing Karkat’s palm enough to make the handjob bearable.

Bearable. Shit. This was the first time anybody else had gotten their paws on his junk, and Dave was loving the attention. The way Karkat was pumping him, making sure his whole length was slick before cupping his hand around the head and gently tugging again and again, made Dave think he was losing his mind. Just when he thought Karkat had settled into a rhythm, the troll would tweak his wrist or splay his fingers in a way that reinforced that he wasn’t done yet.

Dave was determined to give as good as he was getting, and so he reached out for Karkat again, one hand planting itself back in his crotch while the other one tangled in his hair and pulled his face close for another biting kiss. This time, he didn’t stay in tentacle territory, but pushed past it into no-man’s-land – except for the fact that this already seemed to be claimed territory.

TG: okay  
TG: what the fuck is this   
CG: WHAT NOW   
TG: a pussy   
CG: WHAT   
TG: ham wallet  
TG: pink taco   
CG: THE   
TG: dick sauna  
TG: bitch wrinkle   
CG: FUCK   
TG: its a fucking vagina   
CG: WHAT'S A VAGINA?   
TG: great  
TG: trolls are herms  
TG: just my luck   
CG: WHAT'S A HERM?   
TG: you have a spare set of parts down here vantas   
CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?  
CG: THAT'S MY NOOK, SHITHEAD.   
TG: oh thats what this is   
CG: YOU HAVE THE MENTAL CAPACITY OF A GRUB.   
TG: and you have the cultural sensitivity of a backwater klansman  
TG: now quit chafing my taint

One of Karkat’s nails was digging into his perineum, apparently trying to make a hole where there wasn’t one. Dave retaliated by pushing his finger past a token resistance and sliding it into that slick space, and as he pushed in, his hand got coated in that weird red stuff that kept getting everywhere. Once he got his finger in, though, it was like he’d flipped the disengage switch on accident: Karkat seized up, his whole body going rigid, and he hissed at the contact. The hand between Dave’s legs dropped to the floor, Karkat’s eyes rolled back in his head, and a guttural moan of pain crawled out of his throat, the tone so low that Dave could feel sympathetic vibrations in his own chest.

And then it was almost like Karkat’s nook had a mind of its own, because it seized up around Dave’s finger, not letting him probe any further. The clench around his digit was unbearable, and he tried to pull out as slowly as he eased in, but it wasn’t like he had a choice – it was like the damn thing was spitting him back out. Fine. Not that way, then. Karkat made a relieved choking sound once Dave’s hand stopped violating him; Dave hadn’t even noticed he’d stopped breathing until he saw Karkat’s chest rise and fall with a shuddering sigh.

CG: DON'T  
CG: FUCKING  
CG: DO THAT  
CG: AGAIN.   
TG: calm your tits  
TG: crisis averted

To prove his point, he tangled his hand in Karkat’s bulge again, tugging him closer. The troll’s body ended up between his legs, his face hovering not more than half a foot from Dave’s, and his breath smelled like blood when he huffed with pleasure at what Dave was doing to him. Dave leaned up to lick the side of his neck, delighted to taste the salty tang of sex-sweat, and when he sunk his teeth in as hard as he could, Karkat started making that purring sound again. Troll skin must have been really resilient, because even biting this hard wasn’t bringing any blood to the surface. Then again, that meant Dave could be as rough as he liked, leaving a series of blunted teeth marks all along Karkat’s shoulder.

Then it was his turn to shudder and sigh. Karkat had brought his hips down to rut against him, but whereas a normal human boner would just glide against his own, this tentacle-bulge writhed in a wet mass against the jut of his hip, staining his skin pink with the goo it was producing. And it wasn’t an entirely bad feeling, Dave conceded as one tentacle reached out for his dick and circled around the base. He could get used to this – especially as two more tentacles joined the first, making a series of flesh rings for him to thrust up into.

That large tentacle was the most dexterous of the seven, so that was the one that was tugging lightly at Dave’s ballsack, slicking back and forth to rub the contents together. Dave opened his legs wider to let the tentacle do its thing, hooking an ankle around the back of Karkat’s knee and staring him in the eyes as if to dare him to flinch away. Even as he moaned, he still tried to keep a rein on his reactions, not about to let Karkat have the satisfaction of victory.

Karkat’s mouth was on his neck now, his tongue laving the skin over and over again. It was sandpapery, catlike, weird, but Dave found himself shivering at the feel of it, his flesh in gooseprickles where Karkat had left his spittle. And those tentacles were still playing with his cock and his sac, the smallest one even tickling his taint before pressing against it and further back and nudging a blunt, slick point up into the pucker of his sphincter.

Dave instinctively clenched at the feel of it, but the tentacle demanded entrance, and after what seemed like a lifetime of teasing circles, Dave finally felt himself give with something like an inaudible snap. He’d done this to himself once when he got really curious, but he’d never considered following up, and he definitely hadn’t thought someone else would want to do this to him.

CG: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T HAVE A NOOK.   
TG: i dont   
CG: THEN WHAT IS THIS?   
TG: my backdoor  
TG: i shit from there   
CG: THAT'S YOUR WASTE EXPULSION CHUTE?

Karkat shoved off of the floor, his arms tense as he kept his torso away from Dave’s, and he withdrew the tentacle with a wet schlicking sound. The seep of cold air into the space between them left Dave’s skin prickling for contact. He needed the raw heat of the troll’s body against his, needed to come like he needed to breathe. Dave’s cock throbbed maddeningly, marking the seconds they were apart, an absurd metronome keeping time between them. But it was the way Karkat was staring down at him, his expression somewhere in the intersection of worried, disgusted, and aroused, that kept winding up the clenching feeling in his gut ever tighter.

TG: yeah  
TG: got a problem with that   
CG: IS THAT HOW THIS WORKS ON EARTH?  
CG: YOU STICK YOUR BULGE UP THEIR EXCREMENT CHUTE?   
TG: not always  
TG: usually they go in seedflaps  
TG: but if youre gay  
TG: or if your girl really loves anal  
TG: you gotta do where you gotta poo   
CG: YOU'RE A FUCKING DISGUSTING SPECIES  
CG: AND I REGRET CREATING YOU.

Even this rebuke was half-hearted, and not just because Karkat had reached out a hand to push Dave’s hair away from the sweat beading on his forehead. His bulge still hadn’t retreated into its bone sheath, and his eyes still hungrily traced every line of Dave’s body. The moment he finally shut his mouth, Dave reached up, yanked his head down by his nubby horns, and massaged the keratin as he licked the shell of Karkat’s ear.

That finally got the troll back in action again, his tentacles reaching for Dave’s crotch to get back into position. Dave thrust up eagerly into the wet heat of Karkat’s bulge, pulling the troll down for full skin-to-skin contact; every place their bodies touched had an unbearable heat to it, and so Dave held him close, needing that fire, that viciousness.

Karkat wrapped around his cock again, tentacle pushing back towards his hole, and he gave a little more easily this time. What he wasn’t expecting, though, was the dexterity with which Karkat manipulated him. It was better than a finger – no knuckles to stress his sphincter, no risk of being scratched by those sharp troll nails, and it was thinner, too, not as much all at once. That natural lube from Karkat’s body slicked him inside, and the tentacle pushed ever deeper, the tip curling in on itself until

TG: what the fuck was that   
CG: WHAT NOW?   
TG: i dont know  
TG: but whatever it was  
TG: do it again   
CG: AND YOU'RE SURE ABOUT THIS?   
TG: do  
TG: it  
TG: again   
CG: YOU ARE SO NEEDY.

But even as Karkat rolled those yellow troll eyes at him, his tentacle prodded up against that little interior ridge again, and Dave bit down a barrage of curses as Karkat nudged against it again and again and again. Like hell if he’d give the troll the satisfaction of knowing just how worked up he was getting from this.

But, as before, Dave didn’t have to say anything to make himself heard. Those little huffing gasps he was making every time he tried to breathe were breaking enough of his Strider cool that he was reluctant to show any more. Until Karkat wrenched it from him, sliding in another small tentacle alongside the first, and Dave moaned at the feeling, biting down on Karkat’s shoulder to muffle the sound and give as good as he was getting.

The rest of Karkat’s bulge was still working on his cock, but those two tentacles kept plunging in and out of him, sometimes sliding against one another, sometimes wriggling apart and then back together. And then they slid almost all the way out, just the very tips inside him holding him open, and Dave made a sound that was absolutely not needy, not at all, just insistent and desperate and holy fuck did he want Karkat back inside him right this minute.

Karkat seemed to be following the same train of thought, that is, if it was currently as derailed as Dave’s was right now, because he was fumbling between Dave’s legs with his bulge and lifting his hips and pushing Dave’s knees to his chest and

TG: mother of all that is good and fucking holy   
CG: WOULD YOU JUST SHUT YOUR BULGE HOLSTER FOR ONE SECOND  
CG: AND LET ME PAIL YOU THROUGH THE FLOOR?   
TG: didnt think you had it in you vantas   
CG: CRAM IT!

Karkat’s largest tentacle was still fighting to get seated fully inside him. It had started out thick and was only getting more engorged as Karkat kept getting worked up. Plus, it wasn’t as heavily lubricated as the other tentacles, and so every inch was more of a struggle. Better than a human cock – or maybe worse – the appendage was covered in ridges, and each time one of them would breach Dave’s entrance he hissed at the feeling of being stretched, then given a breather, then stretched even further. At least those two helper tentacles were still lubing him with that weird red troll smear, but still, for a while, it was slow going.

And then – then there wasn’t any more for Karkat to give. Their hips were flush, their chests bumping against one another as they both fought to regain their breath. Karkat’s teeth lightly scraped the line of Dave’s jaw, not quite breaking the skin but still enough to leave little scratches in their wake, and to get him right back, Dave clawed his way down Karkat’s arms as hard as he could, nails just barely leaving trails of red-flushed grey in their wake.

It was nothing like human sex. First of all, there was no need for the troll to move his hips to thrust in and out of him, just withdraw his tentacle and plunge it back in place. On top of that, humans didn’t have innate cock cages in their bulges for Dave to shove his dick into. It meant that both of Karkat’s hands were free, and he seemed to have a fascination with Dave’s nipples, calloused fingertips pinching and rolling until the nubs hardened.

Human guys didn’t have self-lubricating body parts. That tentacle was doing all sorts of things a dong couldn’t, like curling in on itself once it was inside him, writhing in a wide circle at the base, and twisting and untwisting as Karkat literally screwed him senseless. Dave was sure he was saying things, but he couldn’t figure out what, and even though Karkat was making noise, everything sounded so far away, like he was underwater. Submerged. Immersed in this experience.

And then the curled-up tip of Karkat’s tentacle hit up against that spot inside him and he screamed.

Yes, a full-bodied scream, flashes of white behind his eyes and tingles all the way in his fingertips and vocal cords protesting their abuse. It only meant that Karkat did it again. And again. A different way each time, a thrust or a screw or a writhe or a nudge. Dave didn’t know whether to thrust up with his cock into the weird-ass handjob he was getting from the rest of Karkat’s bulge or to rock back against the part of it that was getting him to make those noises.

Karkat, for his part, seemed as discomposed as he was, beads of sweat making his hair stick to his forehead in black streaks. With every movement of his bulge he hissed, sucking in air between his pointed teeth or sighing it out forcefully. And on top of that, he was purring like a motor. And somehow Dave got him to add even more sounds to his repertoire when he brought his hands up to roughly rub at the nubs sticking through his hair, because he made a high whining noise stuck in the back of his throat and brought his mouth back down on Dave’s again.

The slow drag and draw of it was driving Dave insane, every single one of those ridges making him pray for deliverance. It was so dirty – the sticky slickness inside him, the wetness of those tentacles still clinging to his cock – and on top of it, this was Terezi’s room, they were fucking on top of Terezi’s dragons, this wasn’t even Karkat’s space that was getting messy. All of it, the winding feeling of a spiral in his gut, the electricity flaring along his nerves at every point where he and Karkat were stuck together, even the smell of him, sharp and verdant like grass cut in the rain, was crashing down on him, wave after wave after wave of sensation building up and wrecking him and building him up again.

CG: STRIDERKIND  
CG: FUCK  
CG: GET A  
CG: BUCKET.  
CG: I NEED A BUCKET.  
CG: AND I NEED IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.   
TG: im not moving  
TG: and its not even yours  
TG: are you seriously going to pail with your best friends bucket   
CG: I CAN'T JUST  
CG: YOU CAN'T PAIL WITHOUT A GODDAMN PAIL!   
TG: wanna bet   
CG: DON'T TELL ME HUMANS DON'T  
CG: DON'T  
CG: FUCK, STOP THAT, I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU.   
TG: vantas just shut up and make me cum already   
CG: MAKE YOU WHAT?   
TG: get me to fling my frothy filthy rocket sauce everywhere   
CG: SO HUMANS DON'T  
CG: FUCK THAT IS  
CG: DISGUSTING  
CG: AND DEPRAVED  
CG: SPILLING YOUR GENETIC MATERIAL LIKE THAT.

And yet he didn’t stop, only twisting tighter within him, corkscrewing faster, stretching him further, actually fucking him now with rough abandon. The wet, sloppy squelching sounds only served to make it filthier. Karkat trailed his hands down Dave’s ribs, leaving four little parallel scratches on each side, and buried his forehead in the side of Dave’s neck, crying out in a language Dave didn’t understand, and then in no language at all. Dave didn’t dare stop working on his horns now, not when everything felt this good, not when he was so close, and then –

Then he wasn’t just close, he was there. Fucking there, heat radiating through him and a shiver running down his spine as he spurted over Karkat’s tentacles still working him through it. And not just a little, either. Just when he would catch his breath in the hopes that it was over, he would nut again. Fuck, that was probably half a bucket’s worth of jizz icing over his abs and dripping off to his sides.

He hadn’t realized he’d clenched involuntarily around Karkat’s tentacle still inside him until the troll snarled into his ear and shuddered head to toe, puncturing eight perfect holes in the hollow between his collarbones and his shoulders as he gripped onto Dave’s body for dear life. That bulge pulsed in him over and over, torrents of genetic fluid splashing inside him, and Dave could feel it dripping out of him, searing hot and staining his thighs.

It went on for ages. Not literally, of course – Dave could have made it literal, but the raw intensity of the sensations dragged one minute out to two, ten, twenty, and by the end of it Dave was sure he’d sprained his throat from trying to out-yell Karkat in obscenities. Karkat, funnily enough, was almost silent as he crested, save for an animalistic growl that Dave wasn’t sure he could entirely control. Had Dave really fucked the snark out of him?

After the squishing sounds had stopped for the most part, Dave could feel that tentacle retreating out of him, causing another spill of red stickiness everywhere. The only sounds remaining, aside from the blood pounding in his ear, was the wheezing as the two of them tried to catch their breaths. For a moment, Dave thought he might pass out from pure exhaustion, but he stubbornly clung to consciousness, if only to make sure that Karkat was even worse off.

The troll collapsed on him, not seeming to care that he was now sprawled out in a cooling puddle of love juice. Dave didn’t mind the weight, or the heat. Shit, was he seriously cuddling with Vantas? No, of course not. He was just too fuck-dazed and lazy to move.

CG: SHIT  
CG: DAVE  
CG: FUCK   
TG: the incoherency was a goal yes  
TG: but you can cut it out with the four letter words now   
CG: WE JUST SPILLED ALL OVER TEREZI'S SHIT.   
TG: and this concerns me because   
CG: SHE'S GOING TO CULL US FOR THIS.   
TG: not if you tell her its something else   
CG: LIKE WHAT?   
TG: i dont know  
TG: the filling from a cherry turnover and the icing on top  
TG: and now im hungry  
TG: youre welcome

What was more of a pressing concern to Dave, though, was the issue of how he was going to get out of this room with any dignity whatsoever. Karkat had shredded his shirt and shattered his shades. The pants were salvageable enough for him to wear out of here, but getting back into them now that Karkat had abused him so thoroughly was another question entirely. Nevertheless, he reached out for his boxers, kicked the troll off of him, and started pulling on his clothes.

TG: give me your shirt   
CG: GIVE ME A REASON TO.   
TG: you ruined mine   
CG: YOU WERE BEING AN INSUFFERABLE PRICK.   
TG: vantas to you everyone is an insufferable prick  
TG: now give me your shirt   
CG: NO!  
CG: WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO WEAR?   
TG: you already wrecked pyropes room  
TG: might as well get in her closet now   
CG: WERE YOU DROPPED ON THE HEAD AS A WRIGGLER?

Karkat, meanwhile, had already dressed, shirt and all, and was pulling his shoes on, about to leave. This didn’t even look like it was going to be a walk of shame for him. Sure, he was still a little sweaty, but he didn’t look any more or less angry than he usually did – which, for Dave, meant he was doing something wrong.

TG: fine  
TG: ill man up and do it  
TG: makes it look like i got dragon tail   
CG: YOU WOULDN'T.   
TG: try me

He had to bite down on his tongue to stave off the groan he wanted to let out upon standing, but he managed to get to Pyrope’s clothes and pull out one of her many identical black shirts. The look on Karkat’s face as Dave slithered into it with a sly grin was priceless.

CG: I HATE YOU, STRIDERKIND.   
TG: i hate you too buddy  
TG: now fuck off

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:34 --

Karkat was only too happy to oblige, apparently, because he was practically out the door as soon as the words came out of Dave’s mouth. Now, how could he make this look ironic without totally giving away what had happened here?

Just a little more rummaging in Terezi’s room uncovered a few more pairs of those red shades she always wore. Good. He felt naked without something coloring his view, and the color meant no one would question how red his eyes looked behind the lenses. He wasn’t ready for everybody to find out how much of a freak he was quite yet.

The sounds of an argument in the hallway filtered into the room. Dave caught only the tail end of Karkat’s order not to go in the room before he heard the sound of someone being punched in the face. Troll deserved it. Of course, this more than likely meant that whoever it was would end up coming in anyway.

Dave busied himself with looking completely nonchalant, thoroughly examining his fingernails. Not a moment too soon, because within seconds Terezi was charging in, her characteristic fanged smile lighting up her face.

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:41 --

GC: 1 SM3LL3D TH3 BLOOD 1N TH3 H4LLW4Y  
GC: 4ND THOUGHT 1 WOULD 1NV3ST1G4T3  
GC: YOU SM3LL D3L1C1OUS D4V3  
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3   
TG: once again mistress of the creepy compliments   
GC: 4R3 YOU W34R1NG SOM3TH1NG OF M1N3?   
TG: how do you even know this shit  
TG: youre blind  
TG: it doesnt even fit   
GC: 1 FOUND YOUR SH1RT 1N TH3 H4LLW4Y

Sure enough, she was holding the remains, and as Dave watched, she inhaled deeply from the red sleeves. But once she took the shirt away from her face, her nostrils crinkled again and her brow furrowed in concentration.

GC: WH4T 1S TH4T FUCK1NG 4M4Z1NG SM3LL?   
TG: cherry turnover   
GC: NO 1 KNOW WH4T TH4T SM3LLS L1K3  
GC: TH1S 1S SOM3TH1NG D1FF3R3NT   
TG: with icing on top   
GC: NOP3  
GC: NOT TH4T 31TH3R  
GC: 1TS ON TH3 FLOOR 1N H3R3 SOM3WH3R3

Oh. The handicapped troll chick just had to be able to smell jizz. The freakiest part about it was that her feet stayed firmly planted on the floor while she bent over at the waist to sniff the ground near the pile of her dragon plushes. No, scratch that, the freakiest part was that her tongue darted out to lick at it before she passed a verdict.

GC: D1D YOU KNOW 4BOUT TH1S D4V3?  
GC: W41T  
GC: OF COURS3 YOU D1D  
GC: TH1S 1S  
GC: TH3 B3ST TH1NG 1 H4V3 3V3R PUT 1N MY MOUTH   
TG: pyrope you are seriously starting to skeeve me out a little  
TG: stop waggling your eyebrows like that  
TG: it looks like two blackbirds are trying to fly off your forehead   
GC: 1 W1LL   
TG: no i mean it  
TG: that shit is fucking creepy

But she didn’t stop, just stared straight at him with those dull red eyes. She knew. She fucking knew. She could probably taste everything that had happened in here through some weird troll power bullshit or something.

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3  
GC: JUST W41T UNT1L 1 C4TCH UP W1TH K4RK4T

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:46 --

Great. Bitch locked him in her room. Still, even though he couldn’t get out, he could still do damage control, right? Karkat might have busted his iShades, but he still had his iPhone around here somewhere, and he tapped out a frantic message to the only other person he could probably trust with this.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:47 --

TG: hey egderp  
TG: i need you to do me a huge favor

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] is an idle chum! --

Welp. Even if he hadn’t been thoroughly fucked before, he was truly fucked now.


End file.
